Why is it so hard to choose ourselves first?
I felt this way pre-motherhood, but I’m feeling it even more now.
I always feel ‘better” when I’m productive, ie; I’ve cleaned the house, meal prepped, returned emails, sent a newsletter or posted to IG, did laundry, worked on classes, cooked dinner, worked on a podcast, made some client blends…
Any of this sound like taking care of myself- directly? Nope.
Because all of this is taking precedence over time to ACTUALLY eat the food I made or meditate or move my body or take a walk in nature alone or breathe/meditate, practice self Reiki, journal- heck even shower!
I know I’m not alone in this – parents or not.
So why?
WHY do we put ourselves last?
Why does it always feel “better” to prioritize everything else first?
It’s time to break down the cultural constructs of productivity- of people pleasing ( everyone- friends, family, boss etc) & the weight of expectations put on us by others.
“Do the work. Work hard. You have to earn it. Anything worth it is worth fighting for. Life is supposed to be hard.”
AND- what is our work REALLY?
Why are we here on this planet anyway?
To bust our asses 40+ hours a week with little playtime day in & day out-struggling and sometimes even hating our jobs until we’re able to “get a vacation from life” or finally retire and start living it on our own terms?
I think not.
Why do we wait?
Why do we put ourselves, our joys- the things that feed us last?
We are here to enjoy this life.
That’s a fact.
When we do the “real work” out inner work- the JOY-FILLED work-everything else deemed “work”becomes easier- more enjoyable.
What might this inner work-real work/ look like? It’s meditation it’s quietude it’s disconnection it’s being in the world but not of it. It’s gratitude. It’s allowing ourselves to feel all the feels – letting the emotions guide us and move through us. It’s about honoring ourselves and our unique paths even if they look different from other people’s.
It’s trust. It’s taking that leap trusting that there will be a safety net that the universe provides whatever your faith is and LIVING- not “working”.
Let’s remind ourselves of it every day: life is so fleeting. AND not everyone is given the enormous gift of a full life…
So, how are we spending our precious life? How are we taking care of ourselves? How can we prioritize ourselves, our joys & live a full life focusing more on what’s most important?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
xoA
