Don’t Worry, No One Has Their $hit Together.

I’m sorry but it’s just the truth.
Life is filled with ups & downs, blessings and challenges and no one can have it ALL FIGURED OUT, all of the time.
It’s just plain impossible.
How could we grow & evolve in life, if the metaphorical waves didn’t capsize us once in awhile?
But “Where is this all coming from?” you may be thinking to yourself. Well I’ll tell you.
This past year & moving into 2018, has brought with it many personal challenges in my life. Some I’ve shared with you, and some I’ve not.
This new year has continued to push me &  brought me to a place of yearning to be more and more real, authentic and unapologetic to where I am on my path.
As an herbalist and practitioner, many clients & students wrongly assume that because this is my profession, I must have some perfectly magical life, health & overall blissful existence 24/7.
I hate to break it to you, but that’s not the case.
And, it’s because I’m constantly “doing the work” on myself & my life, and often flailing in the waves, looking for better ways to float,  that I’m as successful as I am, in my profession. It’s through my own life, challenges & experiences that I become an even stronger practitioner for my students & clients.
This year more than ever, I’m tearing down the facade. The facade that I think many of us wear in the world.
So no, I don’t have my $hit together all of the time. And I’d love to share some tips with you around how I handle this fact.

1. Journal. Get “IT” out of your head and on to paper. What’s the issue? How is it making your feel? Can you do anything to change it? If yes, what? If no, how can you let it go? Repeat daily.
2. Let yourself feel it all. The good the bad & the ugly emotions. They’re important. They are healing & they help to direct our paths.
3. Cry it out. Run it out. Sing it out or sometimes Nap it out. Let your emotions flow THROUGH you.
4.  Warn your friends,  partners, coworkers- all the important relationships in your life that you’re “dealing with stuff”. You don’t have to give them details, just let them know where you’re at and to not take it personally if you seem out of it.
5. Be honest. If you’re not “fine” don’t say you are. It’s okay to not be fine. And that doesn’t mean you have to tell the world what’s going on with you either. Just try not to put on a false happy face and be like “Yeah no everything is awesome! Yaaay!” When someone asks me how I’m doing (and I’m not doing fine) I try to focus on what I’m dong in the moment that I’m enjoying… the little things. For instance at at coffee shop ” Well, I’m really enjoying my chai right now! How are you?”. Or, “You know I’m really excited to go take this yoga class in an hour, it’s going to be great.” Or, “Well, I’ve really enjoyed all this beautiful snow we’ve had, but I’m really excited to start gardening.” This does two things. It helps you to exercise your gratitude muscles of asking yourself , “What are you enjoying/excited about/feeling ok about,” and it helps you to break the habitual often very false response of “I’m fine” also without having to “Get into it.”
6. Breathe. With intention. Especially in moments of stress. Take 5 slow long inhales & exhales and try to relax your body from head to toe while doing so.
7. The only constant in life is change. Let this be your mantra. Remind yourself of it often. Whatever you are going through, there is an end point. Nothing lasts forever.
8. Meditate for 10 minutes a day. Check out meditation challenges, Insight Timer, or Eckhart Tolle meditations… There are so many options. Do this at least once a day. It helps tremendously.
9. Look yourself in the mirror– directly into your eyes and tell say out loud ” I love you and I accept you as your are, right here, right now, perfectly Imperfect. Everything is going to be alright.” Do this 3x’s. I know this sounds (and may initially feel) ridiculous but it HELPS and really works wonders if you do it everyday. You don’t even have to believe the words at first. It’s a truly powerful practice.
10. Forgive. Check out this forgiveness practice based on the Hawaiian ceremony Ho’oponopono. We can always make more room for forgiveness. Forgiveness for ourselves, for our past. present & future. (Thank you to Jennifer K Coaching for introducing me to this powerful practice.)
11. Decide how you want to feel.  Happy, enthusiastic, energized, peaceful, inspired, relaxed, loved…. anything goes. What are two or 3 feelings that you want MORE OF in your life? Once you’ve got your feelings “picked out”, then brainstorm what brings you those feelings? Going out with friends more? Going for a run? Reading books? Meditating? What daily activities, practices & self care choices will bring you more of those feelings? DO THEM. (Another shout out to Jennifer K Coaching & Danielle Laporte for introducing me to this practice.)
12. HERBS!!! In times of stress and struggle I turn to herbs that are gentle and nurturing to the nervous system & the spiritual heart.  Try this tea blend out: 1 Part Rose, 1 Part Oat Tops, 1 Part Skullcap, 1 Part Nettle, 1 Part Chamomile, 1 Part Lemon Balm, 1/2 Part Lavender. *Optional 1/2 part Licorice Root (do not use regularly if you have high blood pressure or are pregnant) & 1 part Sacred Basil ( do not take regularly if you are trying to conceive or are pregnant).  Make this tea & drink it ALL DAY LONG. It helps it all be a little more “okay”. xo
13. Let go. Let go of expectations, quick changes or trying to figure it all out RIGHT NOW.  Just let yourself be here now. And then be here now again. And again. All we have is right now. So find the best way to enjoy it- even if it sucks- to the best of your ability, because I promise you change IS  right around the corner, and the more we surrender to the waves, the easier it is to ride them.

Questions? Concerns? Disagreements? Tell me in the comments below. xooxA

***Please use all herbs under the guidance of a educated healthcare practitioner, especially if you are pregnant, nursing, have a serious illness or are taking prescriptive medications. All information shared on this site is for educational purposes only.***