Remembering What Fills You Up

In a world that is so fast paced and so work focused, it’s often a challenge to feel like life is filling us up. More likely many of us feel like our day to day lives drain us.

I’m blessed to do work that I find satisfying and fulfilling and yet many times when I let my head instead of my heart lead the way in my work, I can become very depleted. I was given a very important lesson this past November/December that reminded me what it means to me and how it feels to me to be “filled up”.

When I first began my herbal practice, I introduced myself & my business (then Lion’s Tooth Wellness) with products. Lotions, balms. salves, teas, elixirs, spritzers and the like. I’d do lots of trade shows where I’d have to connect, chat, explain & give my herbal “spiel” for hours on end. It was a wonderful way to introduce the world of herbs into peoples lives and to plant the seed of interest in people’s minds about the deeper work of herbalism. And it was a lot of work. The packing and unpacking, the commuting, the act of “having to be on” for long periods of time- I always left shows feeling absolutely exhausted and drained. I tried to remind myself that the money was good and it was a good place to start. So I continued for a few more years until I began to resent my work. For me herbalism wasn’t about making products- it was about helping people- educating the public. I wanted to empower people, not make lip balm. So I made the very scary & challenging decision to stop selling products to the public, instead reserving products for 1 on 1 custom blended formulas for clients. It was a hard move, but I never looked back – and it felt GREAT.

Fast forward 5 years. I’m a woman of many interests and can’t seem to keep my focus on just one or two things in my work… it’s just not in my nature. So when I began getting back into my art while incorporating the plants it felt exactly right and so amazing. And then, I had a memory malfunction. I thought it would be A GREAT IDEA that instead of just sticking to selling online (my original more simplified plan) I thought- hey! Why not do some holiday trade shows this year! It will be fun! NOPE. The shows went incredibly well, and yet at the end of each one, I was a shriveled up, physically & emotionally depleted, exhausted, cranky version of myself. Not good. Yes, they were successful lucrative endeavors… but at what cost?

This lesson that I had to relearn was highlighted and reinforced by another event I participated in this November; Herbstalk’s Wintergreen Market. It’s a wonderful herbal event in Somerville MA where herbalists of all walks offer free classes all day. There’s also an herbal market place filled with herbal and wellness vendors and amazingly delicious food vendors set up around the event. It was my first time attending the event, and I was lucky enough to be chosen to offer a talk on Sleep, Dreams & Herbs. I stayed the entire day until my talk came at 2pm and thoroughly enjoyed myself. My talk was well attended with very engaging students and wonderful feedback as well as questions. I left that venue with so much light and energy beaming out of my heart I could hardly stand it. I remembered. I remembered what fills me up. What aspects of my plant work gave back to me as much as I gave to it. Herb Stalk speakers do not get paid to teach, it’s on a volunteer basis and so I left without a dime. But it didn’t matter. Although I’d made money at the trade shows I would never in a million years trade how I felt after teaching at Herb Stalk for the amount of money I made selling products. This isn’t to say I can always teach for free- but that was beside the point. Payed or not it was the act of teaching & sharing that gave me the feeling I craved- nothing else.

I needed to experience this lesson again because I’d forgotten so soon why I’d let that part of my work go. My heart reminded me to stay where my energy is reciprocated- where my energy and spirit was sustainable and flourishing- through teaching, through sharing, through empowering people through the herbs, through self care through connection.

Have you forgotten what fills you up too? What leaves you feeling like you can run a marathon? What can you be immersed in for hours and not realize the amount of time that’s flown by? What fills you up with so much light and gratitude that you can’t help but pour it back into the world around you? If you’ve forgotten? Try and remember what you like to do as a child or younger person before you felt the weight of the world. And when you start to remember-Do more of that.