It Can Be A lot.
You know, living. In the world.
There is so much to process in our lives and in the world at large. It’s no easy thing and overwhelm can be a regular visitor in your life.
It definitely is in mine.
And guess what? It can be a helper and guide.
In fact that’s what ALL emotions are- guides.
Whether the challenging emotion you feel regularly is anger, sadness, frustration or apathy- it’s all OK. The trick is to give whatever emotion you’re feeling, the space to exist- not forever, but for now. Acceptance of ‘what is’, in the moment- including the emotions that arise in you, is part of an important process. When we stuff, stifle or squash our emotions because we just want to stay “positive” or simply don’t want to “feel” the feeling- it will only lead to those emotions staying around (hidden but not gone) for a lot longer. And then when they resurface- WATCH OUT!
Emotions have to be felt fully and be allowed to move through you- so then, you can eventually release them. Mind you, there is a very big difference between giving yourself space to feel what you’re feeling, and the act of wallowing and feeding the emotion to relive again and again. The first is freeing and the second is allowing yourself to get stuck in a cycle.
Here’s A Little Guideline that I like to Follow When I’m Having Big & Challenging Emotions- Whatever They Are:
- Stop. Breathe. Repeat.
- Notice what emotion you’re feeling.
- Where do you feel it in your body? What does it feel like?
- Ask yourself, what caused it?
- Does it revolve around “your business”- meaning is it about you, your life, something that you can control to some extent? Or is it something that arose from someone cutting you off in traffic, a friend who you feel is making bad decisions for themselves, or an upsetting meme on social media?
- If it’s not ‘your business’, great. Let yourself feel the emotion. Breathe with it. And then make the decision to let it go because the truth is- it’s actually none of your business in the grand scheme of life. In time the feeling will dissipate.
- If it is “your business”, then ask yourself if there’s something you can do about it RIGHT NOW to remedy the situation that caused the emotion. Call the bill company to figure out the error? Email the client who misunderstood the conversation? Make a call to your congressman? Or, if there is indeed nothing that can actually be done about said situation that is causing you an unpleasant emotion, you must surrender to the process and trust that things will fall into place. Breathe, connect with the emotion, feel the feeling and then wait. A helpful mantra that I’ve been using lately is “I’m okay with whatever happens.” Another is “The Universe is unfolding in exactly the way that it should… All is well.” Both of these help to calm me in the moment.
Now again, these emotions may not leave right away, but when you feel them come up- sit with them. Even if it’s just for 5 long rounds of intentional breathing- truly just feel them. Run down the list of questions, allow it all to process and the feeling WILL become lighter.
Perhaps journaling is helpful to “clear” the situation out of your head, or calling a friend.
8. From here the final step is GRATITUDE! Once you’ve allowed the emotion to exist, have felt it and given it space, at least for the time being, with out stuffing it away- it’s time to draw our awareness to something else- the things we are most grateful for.
Perhaps you have 5 minutes to spare and can take your journal out to have a stream of consciousness writing session of all of the wonderful things in your life. Or perhaps you can’t in a particular moment and you simply take a moment to list a few thing off in you mind. And let me remind you, there is ALWAYS, always, always, something to be grateful for. The sun, the air we breathe, the clothes on our back, our friends and family, the food that nourishes us, a bed to sleep in, that fact that we get to be here on this planet at all experiencing life… So many things..
When we boil it down, our emotions are telling us what’s serving us in our lives and what’s not. Where we want to be, and where we don’t want to be. Who and what we want in our lives and who and what we don’t. So, listen up! They’re guiding us, helping us find a path to our happiest most fulfilled selves.
Some of my favorite single/double herbs teas for easing out of uncomfortable emotions & into gratitude:
Whiny: Chamomile
Sadness :Tulsi & Rose
Anger & Frustration: Peppermint & Skullcap
Worry: Lemon Balm
Overwhelmed: Oat tops & Nettle
I use 1 TBSP of total herb per 8oz mug, steeped as tea for 15 min. Drink several cups a day if emotions are recurring.
Rescue Remedy flower essence blend is also an excellent choice for grounding and centering when emotions take you over.
Remember, feel it, don’t stuff it, accept it, don’t fight it. When we do… we can learn what we need to and move on. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth the effort! xo xoA
***All information shared on this website is for educational purposes only. Please use herbs under the guidance of your healthcare practitioner.